Ways Highly Sensitives and Introverts Can Lessen the Effect That Other’s Actions Has on Them

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As highly sensitive and introverted people we can easily let other’s actions, words, and body language affect us in negative ways.

I used to be extremely consumed by other’s opinions about me.

What I said, what I liked, what I wore, WHY I did something. As a child, I was a giant ball of shyness and anxiety. I barely spoke to other kids in class because I thought nothing I said would be valued.

 

Being an introvert and an HSP I'm a natural observer. I’d pay close attention to others, what they said, how they acted, what they wore and when I did the comparison I just didn’t match up. So that lack of self-worth wound up shining through when I would talk because I devalued myself beforehand and I just came off as insecure and awkward. If someone laughed at what I said or seemed like they were giving me a look of judgment I’d shut down and replay everything over and over again in my mind wondering why I was such a weirdo!

This poured over into future instances and I became more and more affected by how others acted and perceived me, even if it was just in my head.

 

Sounds like a terrible and stressful way to live huh?


 

Take a look at some negative effects this type of thinking causes:

 

  • Insecurities with speaking up for yourself
  • Closes you up and you feel wrong for voicing your opinion
  • Feel like you’re wrong for feeling the way you do
  • Self-sabotaging thoughts that lead to anxiety and self-doubt
  • Prevents you from sharing yourself and things you enjoy because of some people’s lack of understanding of who you are or your fear of being misunderstood
  • Limits what you allow into your life and you wind up missing opportunities
  • Makes it harder to truly connect with people
  • Depression
  • Lack of self-esteem and self-worth

 

Let me just make a point here and remind you that we’re not “curing” you of your sensitivity or introvertness, these are traits you’re born with and you don’t just get rid of them or undo them, you learn ways to manage them while you build up confidence in the person you are and on your strengths as an HSI.

 

Ways to decrease the effects others have on you

 

Have an understanding of who you are and your personality type

The better understanding you have about your unique personality type, the better prepared you’ll be when you encounter people who don’t get you. You’ll gain more confidence in who you are and will be able to focus on the good you can do in this world and the strengths God has blessed you with.

 

Understanding that not all people will understand you

You were made differently, and that’s ok. Everyone is different in some way, shape, or form. It doesn’t lessen your value or opinion because someone doesn’t agree or get it. That’s why there chocolate and vanilla and about 100 more flavors of ice cream, not everyone enjoys the same stuff.

I once read that throughout your life 25% of the people you meet won’t like you. Sometimes we just don’t mesh with people, it’s not a reason to devalue yourself and who you are because of it. It’s better to put your focus on the 75% who DO rather than the 25% who don’t!



Remember Whose you are

You’re a child of God, The Most High and he made you perfect in His image.
I often repeat Romans 8:31, “What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?” I change us to me so it’s God speaking directly to me. Pretty comforting, right?

If He’s not judging you, you shouldn’t be concerned about someone else who can’t hold a candle to your beloved Lord.


Write it down

Write out situations that have happened and how you felt or reacted. What feelings were you experiencing? In what ways did your emotions cause you to react?  

Then, go back and ask yourself are these things true? Should I have let them get to me on such a deep level? What ways can I do this differently next time something like this comes up?

List out your old and new ways of dealing with that situation.


Ask yourself

Why am I bothered by it so much that it affects me to the point that I feel bad about myself and am fearful of expressing myself?

What is my worst fear that could come true that’s preventing me from being myself or saying or doing something I want but am fearful of being judged? What would happen if it did come true? How could you make the situation lighter so you could see if differently and be able to move on?

 

These steps are actual steps I’ve used during my journey as a highly sensitive introvert. It hasn’t always been sunshine and rainbows, and there are still times it’s not, but having a better sense of who you are, your personality type and some things to stop and think about are big keys to success and living a more happy and fulfilled life being who you are!

 

Are you feeling like you're consumed by your thoughts that have just taken over? Do you feel alone and that no one gets it or understands?

If you answered yes, then you might just be a highly sensitive introvert who is overloaded with internal processing and thinking patterns, but don't know it yet.

Not being aware of your high sensitivity can put a damper on your self-esteem, decrease your sense of worthiness, cause a lot of overwhelm, and just make you feel like there's something "wrong" with you.

The first step towards to moving forward with your struggles is to get a better understanding of your personality type, so let's jump on a call together and I'll help you gain some clarity and figure this out!

Go HERE to set up your complimentary 30-minute personality type call now! I'm so excited and can't wait to talk, it's going to be awesome!

5 Signs You’re Overthinking and How You Can Stop It

Introverts and highly sensitive people process everything internally, which means we most likely overthink way more things than we’d care to admit.

Here are 5 signs you’re overthinking and doable ways to put a stop to it, or at least lessen the amount of time you spend doing it.

 

#1 - Feeling Tense

Do you find yourself tensing up and feeling anxious when you’re thinking about things that make you stressed out or uncomfortable?

When a highly Sensitive Introvert’s mind races around and loops all different scenarios that could possibly happen or some way something could go wrong, your body naturally tenses up.

Your shoulders will wind up at your ears, your face in contorted in a way that either looks angry or constipated, and your teeth are clenched. These things aren’t ideal, so it’s in your best interest bring awareness to when you’re feeling this way, nip it in the bud and find ways to distract yourself.

Why Highly Sensitive Introverts Need Personal Space and How to Co-Exist with Others Who Don’t Understand

As highly sensitive introverts we’re programmed in a way that makes people and social encounters overstimulating and energy draining – usually during prolonged periods, but some may feel it in general.

 

Why Highly Sensitive Introverts Need Personal Space

Highly Sensitive Introvert's energy is drained from being around people, mainly larger groups, and require time alone in peace and quiet to recharge.
This is the opposite of an extrovert who gains energy from people and social situations.

Feeling Drained? 9 Ways to Add in Alone Time as a Highly Sensitive Introvert

As a highly sensitive introvert, I require my share of alone time to recharge and feel like I'm my best self. Taking time away and carving out time to just be alone and retreat is something I need regularly in my life to renew my energy, relax and clear my head, and do the things I enjoy doing solo. 

There have been times when life has gotten busy and crazy and I couldn't take my much needed "me time" and boy does it show! I feel drained, I'm moody and cranky, short-fused and irritable, and I even feel a little bummed out and depressed. 

No good.

10 Signs You Might be a Highly Sensitive Introvert

So, you think you might be a highly sensitive introvert?

 

You’re not alone.

 

So many people have discovered and came to terms with their innate way of being.

It’s not a flaw or defect. It’s how you are and there’s nothing wrong with it.

 

In a world that bases everything off of extroverted personalities and behaviors, us HSI’s need to embrace and educate ourselves about our unique traits so we can better coexist in a world that believes we should be people we’re not, or will never be.